Perhaps you’ve already started noticing differences and that your children’s are starting to accept responsibility for their own actions. Remember to explain and instill the consequences in a positive manner. Threatening your child saying for example “if you do that one more time you will wish that you had never been born” is not a good way. Instead, be calm and firm and try to mediate that everyone makes mistakes. In this week’s “1 minute Peppy Talks” we introduce another relatable situation where you can discuss consequences of ones actions.
Exercise; Describe the following situation: “Stella has attended dance-classes for three years and has found it lots of fun. Now she has completely lost interest in the dance-classes, the activities and her friends. Most days and evenings after dance-classes she stays in her room drawing or looking in books. She is seldom outside meeting her friends. Last year Stella’s parents decided to get a divorce since they had been having conflicts for years. During a dance-class the teacher takes Stella aside to talk about her problems. When the teacher asks “Do you want to tell me how you feel?” Stella does not answer, but is silent”.
Ask; Pretend that you are Stella – what does she feel?
- Try to look like Stella – how does she sit, where does she look?
- Have you ever felt this way? What did you do?
- What will be the consequences of Stella’s behavior?
- What will Stella gain by acting the way she does/saying the things she does?
- What is Stella avoiding or protecting?
- If you were Stella, what would you say to the teacher?
- What could Stella do to change her situation? What would be the consequences?
Purpose; To investigate the consequences of various actions, to see patterns, alternatives and solutions.
Want to experience more? Try to avoid defending and moralizing. Help your child see how Stella’s situation could improve if she told about her difficulties. Perhaps there is something bothering your child at the moment? Talk about that.