Put-downs can be hurtful, nasty and mean. Both children and adults bring each other down, knowingly or unknowingly. Put-downs can bring down our kids emotional health and increase bullying. In order to battle negative thoughts, we have to practice not to bring others down and how to resist being brought down. If we learn to see when we are being put down, we will be less sensitive about it. If we learn what to say/how to act when we are put down, putting someone down will lose its value, it will not affect us as much. That’s why this week’s “1 minute Peppy Talks” will cover how to handle put-downs.
Source: Boston Globe, BRYCIA JAMES KIEWLAK
Exercise; Begin by defining the concept of put-downs. An easy way to do this is to give examples of both verbal and non-verbal instances. It could for instance be kids teasing each other or calling each other names. Ask your child if he or she can give an example too.
Ask; Have you ever been put down? In what way?
- How do you feel when someone has put you down? Where in your body can you feel it?
- How do you feel when you put someone else down?
- Do adults put-down each other?
- Do children put adults down?
- What can you say instead?
Purpose; To define put-downs and to reduce the effect of them.
Want to experience more? I’m sure we’ve all heard put-downs from our kids like “You’re stupid!” or “I hate you”. I’m sure we also know that its the heat of anger speaking. Instead of picking a fight, try and help your kids label what they’re feeling. “I can hear you’re angry right now, but why don’t you tell me in a polite way what’s bothering you and I can help?”. A few months back, we practiced how anger can be expressed and how to deal with this feeling.